Friend: Hey I saw pictures of your ex and his fiance....
Queebaby: Really, that's cool.
Friend: He looks happy.... you should check him out.
Queebaby: Well that's good. I'm glad he's happy.
Every bone in my body knew that I shouldn't have looked at those pictures. But, you know how curiosity is.....
Jealousy and envy is a wasted emotion.
Jealousy is a type of anxious insecurity following from the perception of threat to a relation.
It's ingredients are anger, sadness, disgust and insecurity all brought together by the belief that one’s lover has been unfaithful.
For a second, I thought that I was jealous. When in all actuality, what I had a taste of was ENVY!!!
Jealousy is sometimes frequently used to describe what is more properly ENVY...
A fixation on what someone else has..
Jealousy concerns something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy concerns something one does not have and either he wants to acquire (nonmalicious envy) or he wants the other(s) not to have (malicious envy).
Either way, the feeling sucked.
There have been times in my life where I've felt a bit jealous or envious. But, not like this time.
This time...it consumed me. It made me sad. And it's weird because I sooooo want the best for him. I want him to be happy. It's just I'm envious because he has something that seems to keep passing me by. LOVE!!
Pretend that bone in this picture is Love. I am the Big dog and he is the little dog.
This is how I feel. I've never felt this way before. And it hurts. I'm not saying that this is right.
To be honest, I feel it's ridiculous.
I don't date...for many reasons. (here are two)
1: The few exceptions always disappoint me.
2: It's tiresome
1: The few exceptions always disappoint me.
2: It's tiresome
I had made a decision a few days ago that I was at least going to try a get out a little more. (Aside from work.) This could be one of my 100 motivational reasons to get out and live instead of waiting for something exciting to happen at home in the living room (which we all know that will never happen). I'm only 25. I prefer to be "homey". In translation....chillin out at home watching movies and/or cooking. That's just what I like.
I have "a friend". Who seriously is a friend. No no...seriously (cause i know what you're thinking). A good person to be around, nice to talk to....sorta, understands me.
I just have to leave it in God's hands and get on with the lovely life he has blessed me with.
It'll fall in place.
But, for now...... I make a vow to myself that I'm going to get out more...enjoy my life...and stop dwelling on things I have no control over.
My thoughts for today.
Peace
6 comments:
Isn't envy a b*tch? I know what you're going through. When I was attending college I adored this guy, he made me laugh, we had good conversations and he was a hottie... It seemed like I was waiting forever for him to make up his mind. I just couldn't take it anymore and started living my life. Every once in a while someone will mention him and I feel a bit envious of the woman he's with but I'm also very lucky and ecstatic to have my man...and that guy in college couldn't touch my man now with a ten foot pole..hehe...
Just know that he will come when you are ready...not your friend but Mr. Right. So keep your head up. Stop looking and he will appear when you least expect it. Now is the time for you to focus on yourself and have fun!
What we women always do is replay the good things that occurred in our past relationships. We tend to forget about why the relationships ended.
I'm going to do that because getting off work, sitting in the house and doing nothing is not a good look. The only time I get excitement is from my family and whenver I do slumber parties (oh yeah, I'm a slumber parties consultant too..heehee). So, you're absolutely right. I'm keeping my head up and focusing on all of the positive aspects in my life. And that's exactly what I've been doing, replaying good times...of this old relationship and forgetting about the bad. My friend stays relatively close by...therefore...it becomes rather difficult to "talk" or "not talk". I'm moving in August because not only am I spending about $700 in fuel per month but, I definitely need to get away from him. It's hard to get away when everytime I walk out of the door, I have to see his car or him. I gotta get out of this neighborhood.
Too Close FOR COMFORT!!
Oooohhhh!!! A slumber party consultant sounds FUN!!!
Yes girl,
As a matter of fact, I have a party today @ 3pm. Go to my website
www.slumberpartiesbyaqueelah.com
I've been a Romance Enhancement Specialist (bow chica wow wow) since I've been back from England (April). It's a really cool way to make extra money.
Anyway...why am I up at 8:39am on a saturday anyway? I need to be sleeping in.
I'm up now so, may as well do something productive.
Hope you have a wonderful weekend.
Peace.
Amen!
Awwwwww. This post made my heart hurt a little. You have the WHOLE world in front of you. I WANT and NEED you to be as happy as possible regardless of the feelings that pop up from time to time.
You can ALWAYS come skating with me!
I love you hair...it is beautiful! Be blessed!
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